When it rains it pours

Why does it seem as though the promise "God will not give you more than you can handle" is often a misconception. As if one major crisis at a time would be to trivial. But as i come to grips that this is just a part of life, i take the rope and start climbing back up one notch at a time.
Unexpected mistakes, totally your fault, usually end up hurting your pocketbook but not quite as much as your pride. Peacemaking makes up greatest part of my personality, and so I run as far away from conflict and confrontation as I possibly can. But sometimes, it is unavoidable, as I seem to still keep finding out. For a very intelligent level headed young lady, I can make some of the most stupid, spontaneous decisions, seemingly in every area of my life. Wrecking cars, doing things that disappoint my parents, making bad relationship choices, and trying to hold together a crumbling program at work, are just some of my latest disappointments.
As far as the boot camp i have put myself through to "get fit before bathing suit season.. ugh" this is the only area of accomplishment to list, so eating the occasional chip and dip (major weakness) or having a glass of wine after a rough day, is not even seen as failure. Don't know that next weekend when I hit the sandy beaches of Gulf shores that I will be completely satisfied with how i look, but i have come dang far, so I won't be so much noticing how much extra i'm working with.
As far as relationships go, one thing that people will never be able to say about me is that I don't care. I am a fighter to the bitter end as far as giving, compromising, and being completely supportive. This is just me, I care deeply about those that I choose to invest in. This lends me to alot of hurt and disappointment as most people don't share the same capacity for genuine love. One of these days I will learn to choose more carefully, until then it remains a daily struggle to know who to and not to trust.
My prayer for the week: "Heavenly father, thank you for the good plan you have for me. Today, I lay aside the disappointments of the past knowing that you have blessings in store for MY future."

Journaling

Journaling, a place where being "emotional" is ok. Depending upon your writing skills and degree of comfort with self-disclosure, some journals are more interesting than others.
Self-disclosure- a time of sharing details about yourself with another so they can get a sense of who you are, it's the only way people get close to you. After one of my friends asked me today if she self disclosed well i started to question myself in this area. According to my personality (INFP) I don't typically. I can be an extremely hard person to get to know.. which is most frustrating for me b/c i thrive off of meaningful relationships.
As most of the closest people to me know, writing is not my strongest attribute, actually.. i'm pretty terrible. I can't remember a time where i turned in a paper when it wasn't returned to me looking like they had done open heart surgery on top of it. None the less, i attempted serveral times to keep a journal over the years so i can do the typical look back and see how far i've come yada yada.
Today as i was sitting in my office, letting the rebellious side of me (the dominant side) take control and do anything but what i needed to doing, i spotted an old journal and thought i'd take a peak.
How do you wake up from a sense of apathy that you didn't even know you were in? Was it the sting of reality concerning my degree of regression or questioning how i got there that concerned me most?
How are you more spiritually mature at the age of 19 than you are at 26? Was college really the best days of my life or the path to deterioration?
Hope- is the realization that i can get there again, i've been there once
Time- has changed me more than i realized
Life- full of speedbumps and potholes, which cause reflection, which in turn causes change
Grace- God's greatest gift!